(Bad) Excuses for going 108 mph

From the Bangor Daily News:

Bangor -- Two people from the Waterville area were arrested Monday night in Bangor after passing a state trooper in an unmarked police car who clocked them going nearly 110 miles per hour on Interstate 95.

Maine State Police Trooper Forest Simpson said he’d heard a report of a vehicle with its hazard lights flashing traveling too fast on the interstate. A few minutes later, the car came up behind Simpson and his radar registered the vehicle at 108 mph in a 65 mph zone. The car passed Simpson and continued to go more than 100 mph into a 55 mph zone and when exiting I-95 onto I-395 toward Brewer.

The passenger, Thomas Selby, 42, of the Waterville area, opened his door while the car was moving and it looked as if he were going to jump out of the car, Simpson said. Selby then shut the door and the vehicle pulled over.

Simpson gave Selby and the driver, Dawn Parker, 29, orders using the cruiser’s speaker system because they both were acting strangely and Simpson said he wasn’t sure with whom he was dealing.

Neither would cooperate with Simpson. At one point Selby got out of the car and started running toward the trooper who said he then called for backup.

Police eventually were able to get the two suspects into custody.

The two said they were in a hurry to get to the airport for a 5 p.m. flight because Selby had a family emergency. Simpson said no plane tickets or receipts were found in their possession, the two were headed in the direction opposite from the airport, and it was 5:07 p.m. when Simpson pulled them over.

A search of the car turned up prescription drugs, only some of which Selby and Parker had prescriptions for, Simpson said. Police also found drug paraphernalia.

Selby was charged with disorderly conduct and Parker with criminal speed. Both also face charges related to the drugs found in the vehicle. They were taken to Penobscot County Jail.


If I were a betting man, I would say mind-alterating medication were involved. Call me crazy. If you are going to lie about your destination, at least pick destination in the direction you are traveling. And if making up a flight time is involved, make it for a time that hasn't already occurred.

Why Maine is "Vacationland"

Found this beauty of a headline in today's Kennebec Journal. This is why people come to vacation in Maine:

"Sword fights, fire eating on tap in Manchester"

The article was actually highlighting the upcoming Maine Renaissance Faire, but I was sold on the event after reading the headline... mostly because in past years I needed to travel all the way to Lewiston to see a good sword fight.

You Know You Failed Your Drivers Exam When...

From the Morning Sentinel:


ROCKLAND -- A state driving examiner was injured when a student crashed the car during her test.

Police say no charges were filed but the student, 18-year-old Desirea York of Port Clyde, did not get her license.

State Department of Motor Vehicles examiner Linda Norton complained of neck pain after the crash and was taken by ambulance to a hospital.

Police say Norton was administering a driving test to York when York made a left-hand turn into the path of an oncoming Mercedes Benz. Police say the Mercedes T-boned the passenger side of Toyota driven by York.

Total damages are estimated at $6,000.


My favorite part of the story is that the reporter had to confirm that she didn't get her licence. Honestly, we kind of figured.

And another point, why is this a news story?

Celebrating the 4th -- Maine Style (or is that Indianapolis?)

WATERVILLE — Police say a Waterville man faces felony charges for firing a pistol several times into the air as part of his Independence Day celebration.

Police say they received a report about 4 a.m. Saturday of a man firing a handgun outside a Main Street apartment building.

After police arrived, they arrested 46-year-old Gregory Markey and confiscated a 9-millimeter semiautomatic pistol.

Police say Markey told them that he fired the gun because he was homesick and missed his family and because "that's how he celebrated the Fourth of July where he came from."

Police say Markey, who was released on bail, is originally from Indianapolis.


Wow, just wow.

As a buddy put it, "I didn't think that was an arrestable offense in Maine. Was this guy wearing a Marvin Harrison jersey at the time?"

Maine Needs Representation on MTV’s The Real World

I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of seeing the tiresome, run of the mill, good looking people on MTV’s The Real World. Honestly, how many pretty women and meat-heads from Boston can we put on this show and expect something new and different?

I think the producers need to cast someone new, a fresh face who brings a new dynamic to the house where “people stop being polite... and start getting real.”

So I say, BRING IN SOMEONE FROM MAINE! And you know what, I got just the guy. Cony High Schools (Augusta) very own, "Scotty to Hotty."

See more funny videos at CollegeHumor

or simply go to: http://www.collegehumor.com/video:50765

Finally, It's Over...

From the Morning Sentinel:

WATERVILLE -- A taste for French fries cost this pig its freedom.

The Vietnamese pot-bellied pig that has been roaming the Waterville area this past month was captured Saturday on West River Road.

Waterville Police Deputy Chief Charles Rumsey said Monday that someone who had been feeding the pig French fries called police, who responded to the scene around 6 p.m.

Police then briefly stunned the gray pig with a Taser gun, then captured it with a snare pole, Rumsey said.

"We took the opportunity to deploy that Taser for a short time," he said. "The pig was not injured whatsoever. It suffered no ill effects."

Police took the pig to Donald and Judy Shores' Oak Street farm in Oakland until its owner can pick him up, Rumsey said.

Rumsey said it was important to capture the pig because it could pose a public hazard if it dashed across traffic.

"We were very concerned with it running out into the roadway and causing a traffic accident," he said.

Judy Shores said that she is keeping the pig in a cattle pen for now, hoping someone will claim him. The animal seemed no worse for the wear, she said.

"He seems to be OK," Shores said. "You can't put them pigs just anywhere because they get away."

The pig's owner sure knows that. Shores hopes the owner will step forward and claim it.
"I don't really want it," she said. "They're a nuisance. You have to have a pretty good fence for them."

Waterville homeowner Pam Hart tried to capture the pig Thursday.

Hart used cat food to lure the animal, but was unable to get close enough to grab it.

In late May, Colby College officials spotted the swine near the softball field.

Students were able to leash him, but he slipped the leash at a cookout, and had been a free-range pig from then until Saturday.


Wow, good to see those taser guns are being put to good use *insert sarcasm here*

I'm not saying call PETA over the incident, but come on, a taser to catch a pig? Talk about bringing a gun to a knife fight.

But thankfully, this story is over. We laughed, we cried, but really, we just laughed a lot.

This Is Still Going On?

From the Morning Sentinel:

WATERVILLE -- A little pig that evaded captors on the Colby College campus last month turned up Thursday morning four miles away on a West River Road lawn.

Homeowner Pam Hart lured it with cat food, called it a good pig and tried to get close enough to capture it, but to no avail.

"Come here, I won't hurt you," she crooned, as the charcoal-gray pig slurped noisily, its tail swishing to and fro.
"He doesn't really seem too afraid," she said.

Hart was at work Thursday morning at Maintenance Plus in Winslow where she got three phone calls from friends who had driven past her house and said they saw a pig there.

"They were laughing. They said, 'Did you know you had a black pig on your lawn, eating?' I came home and he was standing right there by the birch tree, just grazing."

Hart called the Police Department, hoping an animal control officer might come and capture the pig.
"I was afraid he might start eating the flowers or the shrubs or he might end up in the pond -- who knows? Of course, I wouldn't want him to go out in the road and get hit."

As she waited and watched and the pig continued to munch, Hart's son Jerry arrived in his pickup truck. He lives on nearby Dusty Lane and his wife, Bridget, had called him to report a pig had just wandered up the path to his mother's house.

"It's been a long time since there were pigs on this property," Jerry Hart mused. "We used to raise pigs out back. You want to talk about somebody trying to catch a pig -- they're like a rabbit. They cut on a dime. If you chase 'em, the next thing you know, they're heading the other way."

When an animal control officer did not arrive more than an hour later, Pam Hart said she had to return to work.

"Keep grazing and I won't have to mow the lawn," she told the pig.

The swine, ears flapping, eventually trotted down the hill and over a little bridge to the neighbor's lawn and then headed to a vacant house next door.

Jerry Hart, owner of Hart construction, drove there in his pickup truck, got out, and fed the pig with dog treats he plucked from inside a plastic bag.

"I keep them with me when I go on job sites," he explained.

The pig approached Hart whenever he tossed a morsel and then retreated to munch. Back and forth it went, for another half-hour, with the pig occasionally scratching its head with a rear hoof.

"I'm almost out," Hart said of the dog treats. "I've got to get back to work."

With that, he drove off, leaving the pig looking. The animal waited a while and then trotted back toward Pam Hart's house where there was more cat food on the lawn. As of Thursday evening, the pig's whereabouts were unknown.

It is unknown who actually owns the gray Vietnamese pot-bellied pig, which left Colby in late May after some students apparently took it to a campus cookout and it slipped its leash.

Colby spokesman Stephen Collins said he would try to find someone at the campus' physical plant who might be able to help capture the pig Thursday, but he could not make any promises.

"Can you grab it?" Collins asked. "What I've heard is that he's tame enough so you can feed him by hand, and as soon as your other hand moves as if to grab him, he's gone."

Uh-huh.


Not sure what's worse: the pig being loose for a month, or the fact the paper gives weekly updates on the progress of catching it (Complete with pictures!)?