(Bad) Excuses for going 108 mph

From the Bangor Daily News:

Bangor -- Two people from the Waterville area were arrested Monday night in Bangor after passing a state trooper in an unmarked police car who clocked them going nearly 110 miles per hour on Interstate 95.

Maine State Police Trooper Forest Simpson said he’d heard a report of a vehicle with its hazard lights flashing traveling too fast on the interstate. A few minutes later, the car came up behind Simpson and his radar registered the vehicle at 108 mph in a 65 mph zone. The car passed Simpson and continued to go more than 100 mph into a 55 mph zone and when exiting I-95 onto I-395 toward Brewer.

The passenger, Thomas Selby, 42, of the Waterville area, opened his door while the car was moving and it looked as if he were going to jump out of the car, Simpson said. Selby then shut the door and the vehicle pulled over.

Simpson gave Selby and the driver, Dawn Parker, 29, orders using the cruiser’s speaker system because they both were acting strangely and Simpson said he wasn’t sure with whom he was dealing.

Neither would cooperate with Simpson. At one point Selby got out of the car and started running toward the trooper who said he then called for backup.

Police eventually were able to get the two suspects into custody.

The two said they were in a hurry to get to the airport for a 5 p.m. flight because Selby had a family emergency. Simpson said no plane tickets or receipts were found in their possession, the two were headed in the direction opposite from the airport, and it was 5:07 p.m. when Simpson pulled them over.

A search of the car turned up prescription drugs, only some of which Selby and Parker had prescriptions for, Simpson said. Police also found drug paraphernalia.

Selby was charged with disorderly conduct and Parker with criminal speed. Both also face charges related to the drugs found in the vehicle. They were taken to Penobscot County Jail.


If I were a betting man, I would say mind-alterating medication were involved. Call me crazy. If you are going to lie about your destination, at least pick destination in the direction you are traveling. And if making up a flight time is involved, make it for a time that hasn't already occurred.

Celebrating the 4th -- Maine Style (or is that Indianapolis?)

WATERVILLE — Police say a Waterville man faces felony charges for firing a pistol several times into the air as part of his Independence Day celebration.

Police say they received a report about 4 a.m. Saturday of a man firing a handgun outside a Main Street apartment building.

After police arrived, they arrested 46-year-old Gregory Markey and confiscated a 9-millimeter semiautomatic pistol.

Police say Markey told them that he fired the gun because he was homesick and missed his family and because "that's how he celebrated the Fourth of July where he came from."

Police say Markey, who was released on bail, is originally from Indianapolis.


Wow, just wow.

As a buddy put it, "I didn't think that was an arrestable offense in Maine. Was this guy wearing a Marvin Harrison jersey at the time?"

Finally, It's Over...

From the Morning Sentinel:

WATERVILLE -- A taste for French fries cost this pig its freedom.

The Vietnamese pot-bellied pig that has been roaming the Waterville area this past month was captured Saturday on West River Road.

Waterville Police Deputy Chief Charles Rumsey said Monday that someone who had been feeding the pig French fries called police, who responded to the scene around 6 p.m.

Police then briefly stunned the gray pig with a Taser gun, then captured it with a snare pole, Rumsey said.

"We took the opportunity to deploy that Taser for a short time," he said. "The pig was not injured whatsoever. It suffered no ill effects."

Police took the pig to Donald and Judy Shores' Oak Street farm in Oakland until its owner can pick him up, Rumsey said.

Rumsey said it was important to capture the pig because it could pose a public hazard if it dashed across traffic.

"We were very concerned with it running out into the roadway and causing a traffic accident," he said.

Judy Shores said that she is keeping the pig in a cattle pen for now, hoping someone will claim him. The animal seemed no worse for the wear, she said.

"He seems to be OK," Shores said. "You can't put them pigs just anywhere because they get away."

The pig's owner sure knows that. Shores hopes the owner will step forward and claim it.
"I don't really want it," she said. "They're a nuisance. You have to have a pretty good fence for them."

Waterville homeowner Pam Hart tried to capture the pig Thursday.

Hart used cat food to lure the animal, but was unable to get close enough to grab it.

In late May, Colby College officials spotted the swine near the softball field.

Students were able to leash him, but he slipped the leash at a cookout, and had been a free-range pig from then until Saturday.


Wow, good to see those taser guns are being put to good use *insert sarcasm here*

I'm not saying call PETA over the incident, but come on, a taser to catch a pig? Talk about bringing a gun to a knife fight.

But thankfully, this story is over. We laughed, we cried, but really, we just laughed a lot.

This Is Still Going On?

From the Morning Sentinel:

WATERVILLE -- A little pig that evaded captors on the Colby College campus last month turned up Thursday morning four miles away on a West River Road lawn.

Homeowner Pam Hart lured it with cat food, called it a good pig and tried to get close enough to capture it, but to no avail.

"Come here, I won't hurt you," she crooned, as the charcoal-gray pig slurped noisily, its tail swishing to and fro.
"He doesn't really seem too afraid," she said.

Hart was at work Thursday morning at Maintenance Plus in Winslow where she got three phone calls from friends who had driven past her house and said they saw a pig there.

"They were laughing. They said, 'Did you know you had a black pig on your lawn, eating?' I came home and he was standing right there by the birch tree, just grazing."

Hart called the Police Department, hoping an animal control officer might come and capture the pig.
"I was afraid he might start eating the flowers or the shrubs or he might end up in the pond -- who knows? Of course, I wouldn't want him to go out in the road and get hit."

As she waited and watched and the pig continued to munch, Hart's son Jerry arrived in his pickup truck. He lives on nearby Dusty Lane and his wife, Bridget, had called him to report a pig had just wandered up the path to his mother's house.

"It's been a long time since there were pigs on this property," Jerry Hart mused. "We used to raise pigs out back. You want to talk about somebody trying to catch a pig -- they're like a rabbit. They cut on a dime. If you chase 'em, the next thing you know, they're heading the other way."

When an animal control officer did not arrive more than an hour later, Pam Hart said she had to return to work.

"Keep grazing and I won't have to mow the lawn," she told the pig.

The swine, ears flapping, eventually trotted down the hill and over a little bridge to the neighbor's lawn and then headed to a vacant house next door.

Jerry Hart, owner of Hart construction, drove there in his pickup truck, got out, and fed the pig with dog treats he plucked from inside a plastic bag.

"I keep them with me when I go on job sites," he explained.

The pig approached Hart whenever he tossed a morsel and then retreated to munch. Back and forth it went, for another half-hour, with the pig occasionally scratching its head with a rear hoof.

"I'm almost out," Hart said of the dog treats. "I've got to get back to work."

With that, he drove off, leaving the pig looking. The animal waited a while and then trotted back toward Pam Hart's house where there was more cat food on the lawn. As of Thursday evening, the pig's whereabouts were unknown.

It is unknown who actually owns the gray Vietnamese pot-bellied pig, which left Colby in late May after some students apparently took it to a campus cookout and it slipped its leash.

Colby spokesman Stephen Collins said he would try to find someone at the campus' physical plant who might be able to help capture the pig Thursday, but he could not make any promises.

"Can you grab it?" Collins asked. "What I've heard is that he's tame enough so you can feed him by hand, and as soon as your other hand moves as if to grab him, he's gone."

Uh-huh.


Not sure what's worse: the pig being loose for a month, or the fact the paper gives weekly updates on the progress of catching it (Complete with pictures!)?

What does it take to be a celebrity in Maine?

Apparently, not much.

From the Morning Sentinel:

WATERVILLE -- Waterville's own singer, songwriter and producer Jeremy Greene will really hit the big time Monday as he stars in "Living Lohan," a reality show on the E! Network featuring actor Lindsay Lohan's

family.

Well that’s a pretty big break! To come from a small town and work your way towards staring in a nationally televised reality television show. But wait… there’s more…

The show, which will appear on Time Warner Cable's Channel 60 in Waterville, starts at 10:30 p.m. and will feature Greene in three episodes out of eight over a period of several weeks, according to Christel Wheeler of E!'s public relations.

Wait, appearances in 3 episodes? He is considered one of the stars of the show for having his mug in frame for 3 episodes? Is this seriously the best we can come up with for profiling local talent? A guy who will be in 3 episodes of a show that clearly will NOT get renewed.

To Jeremy’s defense, the rest of the article goes on to tout some of his successes. I simply found humor in the fact the Morning Sentinel would dub Jeremy a star for being on a trashy reality television show.

Either The Girls at Colby Are Letting Themselves Go, Or...

From the Morning Sentinel:

WATERVILLE — Colby College campus has had a new visitor at large, recently, and he isn’t paying tuition.

The uninvited guest is a medium-sized, charcoal-gray pig, presumed to be male, that has been on the loose on campus for more than a week.

“It’s currently a free-range pig. I spotted it a couple of days ago, grazing on grass on the girls’ softball field, when I drove past on my bicycle. It’s about the size of an English Springer Spaniel,” said Colby director of communications Steve Collins, Wednesday.The pig is believed to be a Vietnamese Potbelly, he said.

The pig was last under human control when Colby students, who were not identified, had taken the pet pig to a campus cookout, where it slipped its leash, Collins said.

According to Collins, some of Colby’s grounds crew had collaborated with the animal control officer in Waterville, to set up traps on campus, in an attempt catch the free-roaming hog.

Waterville police Sgt. Joseph Shepherd said the pig has been on the loose at Colby for more than a week.
Colby’s assistant grounds supervisor Peter MacDonald confirmed that attempts to catch the elusive pig by Wednesday, had failed.

“We tried to catch it a couple of ways, like physically chasing after him and using a net to throw over him. That didn’t work," MacDonald said. "He is very friendly, but as soon as you think about moving, he shoots right away. We actually had him eating out of our hands.”

I guess all you can say is, "You know you've gone to school in Maine for to long when you bring a live pig to your cookout."

It’s a Sad Day when a Man Can’t Wear a Chicken Suit at 1:30 a.m. to get a Beverage

From the APWire:

WATERVILLE, Maine — A store clerk became alarmed early this morning after a very tall person wearing sandals and a full-length, yellow chicken suit walked into the Irving Blue Canoe store on Kennedy Memorial Drive, police said.

The person reportedly entered the store and just stood there for a few moments without speaking, then began walking toward the beverage coolers.

When a clerk asked the person to remove the chicken mask, the person placed his hands on the mask, pulling it down as if to say, “I’m not taking off my mask,” said Waterville Deputy Police Chief Charles Rumsey.

The incident unfolded just before 1:30 a.m., police said. The clerk noticed a red car driving around the parking lot. The person in the chicken suit got out of the car and the car sped away, temporarily out of sight.

The clerk told police the chicken person stood about 6 feet, 4 inches tall, with brown sandals and blue jeans visible beneath the feathers.

After the encounter with the clerk, the chicken person quickly walked out of the store and got back into the red car, which drove off toward Oakland.

A man who answered the phone at the Blue Canoe later this morning said he was not allowed to comment on the incident.

This is about as close to racial profiling as it gets in Maine I guess. I mean, clearly this gentleman was drumming up advertisement for the new KFC set to be built across the street at Mardens Surplus Store. I don’t see the harm.

Also, what can the man answering the phone to comment on the story really say? "Um, yeah, a dude came in. He got a Mt. Dew, a bag of Muncho's and a microwaivable burrito. I think it was a beef burrito, but do not quote me on that. And oh yeah, he had a chicken suit on."

But, I guess that’s I can not complain, for without these stories, there would be no “Only in Maine” blog.