Tomorrow's Future... Born in the Back of a Police Cruiser

From the Associated Press:

RUMFORD - A Bethel woman was taken to a hospital rather than a jail cell after she began going into labor in the back seat of a police car following her arrest on a domestic violence charge.

Police said 23-year-old Tiffany Burlingame gave birth at Rumford Hospital on Saturday night after being arrested earlier in the evening for allegedly assaulting her husband in a fight while driving in Rumford.

Officer Doug Maifeld told the Sun Journal of Lewiston that Burlingame, who was eight months pregnant, began going into contractions in the back of the police car. He said an ambulance met them at the police station and took the woman to the hospital.

Police said the mother and baby were then taken to Maine Medical Center in Portland, where they were reported doing fine.

Something tells me if genetics hold true to form, this won't be the last ride a police cruiser this child will take.

Mattel Announces New Line of Barbie’s: Maine Barbie’s

Mattel, in an attempt to reposition themselves better to different markets, recently announced the release of Limited Edition Barbie Dolls for their coveted Maine demographic.

Fairfield Barbie: This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt, and Tweety Bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six pack of Coors light and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt when she's drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a Confederate Flag bumper sticker absolutely free.

Old Orchard Beach Barbie: This tobacco chewing, brassy haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased Beer-Gut Ken out of Newport Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid washed jeans, fake finger nails, and a see-through halter top. Also available with a mobile home and 8-track tape player.

Rumford Barbie: This Barbie comes with tangled hair and missing teeth. She is sporting LA Gear sneakers, tapered Jeans and a B.U.M. equipment belly shirt. Rumford Barbie is also available with bearded Ken who serves as her cousin/boyfriend.

Bath Barbie: This chain smoking, beer chugging model has a low rise jeans that shows off her “tramp stamp.” She drives a 1995 Ford Probe, and thinks she can dance better then you can. She comes complete with drug-dealing Ken, who doesn't have a car or his license because he's on probation. Navel piercing sold separately.

Skowhegan Barbie: This Barbie is only 14 and comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional accessories include a GED and bus pass. “Gangsta” Ken and his '79 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.

Cape Elizabeth Barbie: This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H3. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club membership. Also available for this set are “Shallow Ken” and “Private School Skipper.” You won't be able to afford any of them.

We’re Only Taking 15 Though…

From the Bangor Daily News:

KINGMAN, Maine - Like a gathering storm, at least 15 Maine trucks will start toward Washington, D.C. on Sunday to protest record high diesel fuel prices that they say will cause significant price spikes in all consumer goods, organizers said Thursday.

The Coalition to Lower Fuel Prices and the 15 sponsored trucks will gather at a vacant car lot opposite Lincoln Color Center off Route 6 in Lincoln by 6 a.m. on Sunday, said coalition co-founder Belinda Raymond, a town resident.

Other participants will likely join them there, and other trucks and vehicles will be joining the caravan for varying lengths of time as it proceeds along Interstate 95, she said, before it eventually reaches Washington by 10 a.m. on Monday.

"All I know for sure about are the 15 that we’ve lined up with sponsorship and paid for with our fundraisers," Raymond said Thursday. "By the time we hit Kittery, I don’t know how many we’ll have."

The coalition is the Maine representative to a national rally to protest the diesel prices, which some say are crushing the state’s forest products and hauling industries. Other truckers from other industries and from around the country are expected to attend.


So to protest the high cost of diesel fuel, this group felt that driving 15 trucks from Kingman, Maine to Washington, D.C. (Map Quest has it at roughly a 748 mile/12 hour trip) would be the most influential way to prove their point?

“Hey, look at us! We just drove 15 gas-guzzling trucks to protest how much it cost us to make this trip!”

Send an e-mail, post a YouTube video, make a phone call, sign a petition, sacrafice a small animal... do something other then the one thing you are trying to avoid... paying high gas prices when traveling.

Baby, I Love You So Much, I'd Torch Your Boyfriends Truck

From the Morning Sentinel

VASSALBORO -- A Vassalboro man was arrested early Wednesday morning in the torching of a neighbor's truck.

Courtney Damien Shea, 25, of Vassalboro, was arrested and charged with several offenses, including arson and aggravated criminal mischief, police said. He was arraigned Wednesday, police said.

Vassalboro Fire Chief Eric Rowe said firefighters were called to Robert Jurdak's Getchell's Corner Road home just after 2 a.m. On arrival, Rowe said, first responders found the green 1995 Ford F-150 pick-up truck in flames.

"The vehicle was torched," Rowe said Wednesday morning.

Angela Burke, Jurdak's girlfriend, said the truck was fine when she went to bed at 10 p.m. Tuesday. Hours later, she said, Jurdak "woke up and was yelling, 'My truck's on fire!' "
Burke said she dated Shea, but the couple broke up several months ago.

I don’t know how Miss Burke DOESN’T get back together with Mr. Burke. I mean, burning the new boyfriend’s truck is how a Maine man professes his love for “his woman.”

This has reality show written all over it. Move over Keeping up with the Kardashians and Rock of Love… “MAINE LOVE” starring Courtney Damien Shea and Angela Burke is coming to VH1 this summer to be overplayed. Though, I feel the show will not be able to keep up after the thrilling opening episode when Shea burns a truck. I mean, I guess he could tattoo his whole body with Angela’s name, but it really wouldn’t live up to the shock value of burning a truck in the premier episode.

Today’s lesson in love and relationships: When a relationship is over, it’s not really over until you’ve burned the new boyfriend’s truck.

Don’t Tase Me Bro... You're my Best Man!!!

From the Bangor Daily News:

ROCKLAND, Maine — The Attorney General’s Office is investigating an incident in which a Knox County deputy sheriff was shocked with a Taser, hogtied and paraded around downtown Camden in the back of a pickup truck last summer.



…The weekly newspaper Village Soup obtained a video that shows approximately 10 men outdoors at what is believed to be a bachelor party when the Taser is used. The groom-to-be drops to the ground and the other men bind him before covering him with oil and feathers…

Read the full story here.

I guess there are a few things to comment on this story.

1.) Wow! These guys really know how to throw a bachelor party! Obviously a trip to Vegas or a night of beer and “entertainment” of the female variety were not enough for these officers of the law.

2.) The police in question put this on video? What are they? College freshman girls who need to document all the stupid things they do when they drink? I'm surprised someone didn't find this video sooner on officers Facebook page... between their Top Friends list and Scrabolous applications.

3.) Have we learned nothing from the famous “Don’t Tase me, Bro!” video that became a YouTube phenomenon and gave University of Florida student Andrew Meyer 15 minutes of “fame" which included his own ringtone from Verizon Wireless and t-shirt from Busted Tees.

4.) This should make an interesting topic of discussion at the wedding. I’d love to be a fly on the wall at the reception when the best man gives his speech. I picture a group of people booing him… followed by a rousing chant of “Yankees Suck!” (I mean we are in New England, it happens).

Bonus points for anyone who can provide a picture of somone wearing a "Don't Tase Me Bro" t-shirt outside of the Knox County Sheriffs Department.

*Insert Maine teeth joke here*

From the Bangor Daily News

AUGUSTA, Maine — A bill that aims to increase access to dental care in under served areas of the state has gained approval from the state House of Representatives.

The House voted Wednesday to enact LD 2192, An Act To Increase Access To Dental Care, which was sponsored by Rep. Patricia Sutherland, D-Chapman.

The bill would provide an income tax credit of up to $15,000 for dentists who join or open a new practice or buy an existing practice in an under served area, as defined by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, and agree to practice there for at least five years.

Why is this coming to light now, in 2008? Did people living in rural areas not want dental care before? Did they not know what dental care was? I guess I was under the impression that if Flavor Flav can take care of his teeth, then those living in rural Maine could as well.

Overheard “Pearls of Wisdom”… Courtesy of the Future Leaders at Colby College

I came across this great blog today, Overheard at Colby. This is a genius site inspired by Overheard in New York site (which is also funny, but it is New York, so we're not really surprised by the stupid things they say). This sight is dedicated to “the strange things that Colby College students have overheard, either on or off the hill.”

I must say, I simply love this blog.

Please see some of my favorite ones below. I encourage you all to check out the site and read some of the 20 pages of “wisdom” the smart kids you went to high school with are saying as they further their academic career and prepare to make an impact on the future.

Overheard in the Woodman Dorm bathroom
Girl 1: Wow, your makeup looks really good!

Girl 2: Oh my god, I know! It's because it has sparkles in it.

Overheard in Heights Dorm
Girl lying in hallway to guy: I know I'm supposed to hook up with you, but I'm too drunk right now....so give me, like, two hours and I'll be ready.

Overheard outside of Lovejoy Dorm
Boy 1: (throws a snowball at boy 2 and misses by a long shot)

Boy 2: Nice throw, Helen Keller!
Boy 1: I'm not black!

Overheard in Heights Dorm
Drunker Girl: What do I do?Drunk Girl: Go sit on him.

Drunker Girl: I can't go sit on him, are you crazy?

Drunk Girl: Yes, you can. You're drunk.

Drunker Girl: Fine. S**T!!! That other whore is already sitting on him.

Drunk Girl: So? You can sit on his other half.

Drunker Girl: No, I can't.

Drunk Girl: I would do it if I were the one that liked him.

Overheard in the Hillside Shower
Two guys showering in showers next to each other.
First guy peers into other guys shower.
Guy 1: You look like that guy who married Julia Roberts.

Guy 2: Which one?

Guy 1: The ugly one.

Guy 2: Lyle Lovitt?

Guy 1: Yeahhhh that's it. You look like him when you're wet.

It’s a Sad Day when a Man Can’t Wear a Chicken Suit at 1:30 a.m. to get a Beverage

From the APWire:

WATERVILLE, Maine — A store clerk became alarmed early this morning after a very tall person wearing sandals and a full-length, yellow chicken suit walked into the Irving Blue Canoe store on Kennedy Memorial Drive, police said.

The person reportedly entered the store and just stood there for a few moments without speaking, then began walking toward the beverage coolers.

When a clerk asked the person to remove the chicken mask, the person placed his hands on the mask, pulling it down as if to say, “I’m not taking off my mask,” said Waterville Deputy Police Chief Charles Rumsey.

The incident unfolded just before 1:30 a.m., police said. The clerk noticed a red car driving around the parking lot. The person in the chicken suit got out of the car and the car sped away, temporarily out of sight.

The clerk told police the chicken person stood about 6 feet, 4 inches tall, with brown sandals and blue jeans visible beneath the feathers.

After the encounter with the clerk, the chicken person quickly walked out of the store and got back into the red car, which drove off toward Oakland.

A man who answered the phone at the Blue Canoe later this morning said he was not allowed to comment on the incident.

This is about as close to racial profiling as it gets in Maine I guess. I mean, clearly this gentleman was drumming up advertisement for the new KFC set to be built across the street at Mardens Surplus Store. I don’t see the harm.

Also, what can the man answering the phone to comment on the story really say? "Um, yeah, a dude came in. He got a Mt. Dew, a bag of Muncho's and a microwaivable burrito. I think it was a beef burrito, but do not quote me on that. And oh yeah, he had a chicken suit on."

But, I guess that’s I can not complain, for without these stories, there would be no “Only in Maine” blog.

Honey! We won the lottery! (*cough* the moose hunting lottery I spent our savings on *cough*)

There was big winners announced this past week in Maine. No, not that estimated $68 million Power Ball lottery, this one was for something money couldn't buy. This was for the chance, for one week only, to be the envy of all your friends (for something other then having the most teeth). That’s right, the Moose Permit Auction winners were announced..

From MaineToday.com:
AUGUSTA – Ten hunters this week won the privilege to hunt moose in Maine during the upcoming season by bidding a total of $109,111 in the 2008 Maine Moose Permit Auction, which benefits youth conservation education scholarships.

More than 30 people took part in the auction. The 10 successful bids ranged from $8,500 to $12,650.

All of the money derived from the 2008 Maine Moose Permit Auction goes to partial scholarships that will help send Maine youngsters to the Maine Conservation School in Bryant Pond and Conservation Camp at the Greenland Point Center in Princeton. At these five-day camps, boys and girls ages 10 through 14 take part in an array of outdoor and classroom activities. Students work with experienced instructors and counselors, as well as staff from the Maine Department of Inland Fisheries and Wildlife and other state and private conservation agencies.

I guess my first question would be, “How can one justify paying upwards of $12,000 to go out in the woods, drink Budweiser’s, wear obscene amounts of orange and be granted the authority to shoot a moose?” Yes, I have eaten moose meat in my lifetime, and yes, it is quite tasty… but is it $12,000 tasty? It is debatable.

Ah, “Only in Maine.” Sure, we’ll bitch about rising cigarette taxes, Governor Baldacci and the ease of illegal immigrants getting drivers licenses… but as long as we can hunt moose, we’ll do anything (and obviously pay anything) to do it.

When Kids are Wearing Their Pants to Big...

From the Lewiston Sun Journal:

LEWISTON - Police were searching for three men Wednesday, one of them accused of stealing a guitar from a music store by stuffing the instrument down his pants.

The heist occurred at Music Maniac in the Lewiston Mall last week, police said. Stolen was a Fender Stratocaster guitar.

Police said that two of the suspects stood around inside the store, acting as lookouts and providing distraction. The third man shoved the guitar into his pants and pulled a long sweatshirt over the top of it, police said.

The theft was discovered later and video surveillance footage was turned over to police. The footage clearly shows each of the three suspects, all of them wearing baseball caps and open coats.

The suspect identified as the one who stole the Fender is seen walking with the guitar in his right hand.

Strangely, it was at least the second such theft to occur at the store in recent years.

In November 2006, a man was caught as he tried to walk out with a guitar jammed into his pants.

I mean, sure, it starts with a guitar, but just wait till their stuffing ’67 Cadillac’s in their pants.

I won’t even classify this as an “Only in Maine” story because honestly, this is nothing more then an “Only in Lewiston” piece. I can't pull the entire State into this.

Hey Maine, wear your seatbelt... and this time, we mean it (maybe)

From The Bangor Daily News:

For the last six months, police have issued warnings to motorists who failed to use seat belts money.

Maine long had a secondary enforcement law for seat belts. That meant that seat belt use was required but drivers could not be stopped for failing to buckle up. If they were stopped for another violation, such as speeding, they could be given a ticket for not wearing a seat belt as well.

See full story here.

I don’t know many states that issue a law, kind of talk about maybe some day enforcing it for 6 months and then decide that ‘yup, let’s start enforcing that law.’ What if Texas only gave warnings for the first 6 months they initiated the death penalty? Or New Hampshire says, “We’re going to Live Free or Die, but not for the first 6 months.”

You should either make a law and enforce it, or you sit on it until you’re ready. There is no middle ground, no Mendoza line, nothing.

I look forward to see how the state handles their Real ID program. I see it going down like this, “Um, yeah, if you could go ahead and get this ID card, that would be great. I mean, we won’t check you for a few months, but just get it. Thanks”

Good night all… and please, buckle up, for real this time.